


i'll take you home.

by Juvenile_Gemini



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternating Third Person POV, Best friend Lyla, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Guilt, Incest, M/M, Post-Prison, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Guilt, Sibling Incest, Slow Burn, architect!Daniel, comic artist!Sean, finn is a creep, making my boys suffer before they can have each other, may add more tags later, past finnsean, they have a dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juvenile_Gemini/pseuds/Juvenile_Gemini
Summary: He takes in his surroundings, and it’s so much. Too much. It should make him happy, and he thinks it does, but being a “free man” holds so much weight and responsibility and unknown futures that he can hardly begin to sort through all his feelings. There are too many to feel and label individually. His ribcage aches with the pressure of all the emotions surrounding him in this moment. He could honestly drown in it all.The first face he sees is his brother’s, and it’s a raft thrown out to his sea.
Relationships: Daniel Diaz/Sean Diaz
Comments: 15
Kudos: 50





	i'll take you home.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, here I am, FINALLY posting the first chapter of Redemption fic. The very one I have been slowly losing my mind over for the past... idek!
> 
> I wanted to write a novel-length slow burn fic for this ending, complete with all the mutual pining and sexual tension and delicious shame I can push onto these beautiful men, so I decided to indulge myself and do it. Chapters will alternate between Sean’s POV and Daniel’s. I have the whole thing outlined. I make no promises on an update schedule, but hopefully I can get a chapter out at least every 2-3 weeks. Please be gentle with me if I don’t adhere to that.
> 
> A huge thank you to the folks on the diazcest server, especially Aki and Ylixia, for all their help on this journey! You folks have helped me answer so many story and character questions, dug me out of mile-deep plot holes, and gave me the encouragement I needed to stick with this fic. I love you all so dearly!
> 
> Another thank you to Ylixia for beta-ing this! You give insanely helpful critique, and this project wouldn’t be the same without you. <3
> 
> (Also, as a general rule, I‘m always writing Sean as autistic and Daniel as having ADHD, jsyk)

_ Fifteen years after the events at the border. _

  
  
  


He imagined this moment countless times over the past agonizing years. Playing it over and over in his head. What it would look like, feel like, to finally be free. All those moments late at night, battling insomnia, when the letters and the visits and the empty prayers weren’t enough to keep him afloat, picturing himself walking past those gates and back into the outside world kept him strong.

Now that it’s actually happening, Sean can hardly believe it’s real.

The gates creak open, one after the other. He grips the straps on his bag hard enough for it to hurt. He takes in his surroundings, and it’s so much. So much sunlight, so much air, so much space he’s now allowed to roam. It’s so, so much. Too much. It should make him happy, and he thinks it does, but being a “free man” holds so much weight and responsibility and unknown futures that he can hardly begin to sort through all his feelings. There are too many to feel and label individually. His ribcage aches with the pressure of all the emotions surrounding him in this moment. He could honestly drown in it all.

The first face he sees is his brother’s, and it’s a raft thrown out to his sea.

Daniel is nearly bouncing on his heels. He runs up to Sean, who drops his bag and opens his arms to embrace his baby brother (not such a baby anymore, though, all long legs and broad shoulders and facial hair). They got to hug during their weekly visits, but only briefly. One or two seconds tops. Sean never got to feel those strong arms crushing him with no intention of letting go soon, or the sturdy, calloused palms patting his back. He wishes they could stay like this forever.

But of course, they have to let go. They don’t fully take their hands off each other yet, however, gripping each other’s shoulders with an unrelenting force.

“Thanks for coming to get me. It means… so much.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Daniel says, eyes bright and smile genuine. He may be more excited for this than Sean himself.

The others are waiting for them by the car. Karen raises a hand in greeting. Sean copies her stiffly. Lyla looks like she’s holding back tears. Daniel picks his bag up for him, arm wrapped around his shoulders, and leads him forward.

Lyla pounces on him, enveloping him in the world's strongest bear hug. It knocks the wind out of him, and he fights back a sense of panic, an initial instinct to flinch away. He isn’t used to physical force being something positive. He pushes down upsetting memories and focuses on the fact that this is Lyla. Lyla, his best friend, his rock for the past decade and a half, hugging him and whispering in his ear, “I am so fucking glad to see you out of that shithole.”

“I know,” he tells her, swaying her back and forth as she sniffles. “I know. I know.”

She has an even harder time releasing him than Daniel did, but she eventually does relent, passing him over to Karen’s waiting arms. His mother’s embrace doesn’t last quite as long as the others’, but it might be the most physical contact Sean’s had with her since he was seven. 

“Welcome back, son.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Things are still iffy with his mother. There’s no way to rewrite the past. She did what she did, and it fucked Sean up. He still sometimes thinks about his dad, heartbroken and trying so hard not to show it, forced to raise two little kids all alone, all the while working full time to keep a roof over their heads. He thinks about all the times they needed her and she wasn’t there. He thinks about how different things could have been if she never left them. How Dad might still be alive. How Sean might have never...

But there’s no point in thinking like that. She did step up for them, even if it was eight years too late. It doesn’t count for nothing. And she did make the trip up to Seattle at least once a year to visit Sean. She worked hard to patch up their relationship while simultaneously respecting Sean’s emotional walls. The least he can do in return is accept her hug.

When initial greetings are over, they pile into the car. Daniel behind the wheel, and Sean in the passenger’s seat, at Daniel’s insistence. Lyla is behind Sean, leaning forward to wrap her arms around his neck and talk his ear off. Karen is beside her, passively listening with one of her stoic half-smiles. Daniel and Lyla have an easy banter going. They talk so simply. So naturally. Sean wishes he could join them, but he’s tongue tied. As per usual. He doesn’t know what to say even when he’s comfortable, let alone when his anxiety is revved so high.

Everyone in this vehicle is his family, here with him because they love him, and yet he feels like an outsider.

He can sense himself slipping away. Losing track of the conversation. It’s like his body doesn’t belong to him, like his life is happening to someone else. This happened a lot in prison. It made it easier to handle. To compartmentalize. To stop feeling. He expected he wouldn’t need to do this anymore, now that he’s released. But he’s starting to think he may be so messed up, release won’t do jack shit for him.

“This is the cutest little diner,” Lyla says as Daniel parks. “And the food is  _ amazing. _ I always made sure to take Daniel here whenever I took him to see you.”

Before he knows it, Sean is standing inside this charming establishment, acutely aware of just how much someone of his grizzled appearance and antisocial demeanor doesn’t belong here. He almost wants to back out, lie and say he ate in the mess hall, but everyone else is so excited. He doesn’t want to take that away from them. So he grins and bears it, sitting at the booth they choose. Lyla slides up beside him, and Daniel takes the seat across from him.

He doesn’t even think about it, and he doubts Daniel does either, but they join hands over the table. The same way they would during visitations. Aside from the brief hugs, this was the only physical contact they were allowed. Sean and Daniel took whatever they could get, and that included holding hands. So they’ve been holding hands whenever they meet for the past fifteen years. It’s only natural for them to fall back on it here.

They meet eyes and laugh it off. Neither of them pull away.

“Afternoon,” a frizzy-haired waitress greets them curtly. “Can I start you out with some drinks?”

Lyla and Karen order coffee. Daniel orders water. Then it’s Sean’s turn, and he suddenly forgets how to speak. He stutters and stumbles for a few brief, agonizing moments, until he finally settles on, “water, please.”

“Alright then, be right back with those.” The woman walks away, leaving the crew alone again.

“Well, I’m getting my usual,” Lyla states. “What about you guys?”

Daniel slips his hand out of Sean’s to pick up his menu. Blinking at the loss, Sean follows suit. As his eyes scan the pages, he’s greeted with an overwhelming variety of options. He’s not used to having options. To making decisions. He doesn’t even know what he likes to eat anymore.

Then he gets a look at the prices, and his jaw drops.

“Why the fuck is everything so  _ expensive?” _

“Inflation,” Karen answers. “Wait until you see the price of cigarettes nowadays.”

He immediately feels guilty over letting Karen pay for all of them. But she had offered, and he knew she wouldn't accept no for an answer.

The responsibility of making a choice, and the building sensory overload from all the sights and sounds and smells, is all mixing together to create the perfect cocktail for an anxiety attack. Sean stares at the menu helplessly, mouth dry, wondering how the hell he’s supposed to give an order to a waitress. He’s starting to wish he would have chickened out after all. It’s too much. It’s all too fucking much.

His menu is gently plucked from his grasp, and a warm, rough hand slips back into his. When he looks up at Daniel, the younger brother is casually staring down at his menu as if nothing happened.

“Their cheeseburgers are a classic,” he tells Sean. “I’d recommend that.”

Sean knows what he’s doing. And he’s immensely grateful.

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll get that then.”

He doesn’t even have to order for himself. Daniel takes care of that too. It makes Sean feel awkward and childish, and he flinches under the judgmental stare of the old waitress at their joined hands, but Daniel acts like it’s such a nonissue. Continues on talking like it’s all perfectly normal. (Maybe it is. Maybe Sean’s being too hard on himself. After all, this is his first day of freedom. He just needs to ease himself into it, he supposes.)

Lyla and Karen, on the other hand, keep glancing over at him with these horrible expressions of pity. Sean doesn’t want their pity. Doesn’t want their attention. He hates feeling like a spectacle. He never liked being the center of attention at the best of times, but now, it just makes him want to claw his skin off.

Daniel’s hand in Sean’s remains his lifeline. His tether to sanity amongst all the chaos.

“Your new place fucking rules, dude,” Lyla tells Sean through a mouthful of hashbrowns. “You got this big backyard with this  _ beautiful  _ porch swing. I’ve already lit up a few times on that thing and, let me tell you, it is an  _ experience.” _

Sean chuckles. “Glad to see some things never change.”

“The location is nice,” Karen chimes in. “Not in the heart of the city, but still close to civilization. I think it’s a good spot for you two.”

“Yeah, Daniel told me a lot about it,” Sean says. “It sounds nice.”

Daniel grins. “I really hope you’ll like it. I spent so long finding the perfect apartment. Or, well, the closest thing to perfect that exists in Seattle. Your room is all set up. I tried to get everything you’d need, but we can always go pick up anything I forgot.”

Guilt eats at Sean’s stomach. It was Daniel’s idea. Daniel’s request. He looked so scared that Sean would refuse, and Sean didn’t know where the fuck he would go if he did, so he just said yes. And Daniel looked genuinely happy. But it still feels like Sean’s taking advantage of him, somehow. Or like it’s only a handout to the poor helpless felon.

He knows it’s not like that. Daniel would never think of him like that. But he still feels like a burden on his brother’s shoulders.

The four of them stay at the booth talking long after they finished eating. The waitress seems vaguely perturbed, but she leaves them alone. Sean is enjoying their conversations—really, he is—but he’s finding it harder and harder to focus the longer it drags on. It’s so loud, so bright, so much. It feels like he’s already soaked up all the sensory input he can take for the day, and every second spent pushing past that limit is slowly breaking him.

Karen takes notice.

“Well, I think it’s time we get out of here. Danny, how about you drop me and Lyla off, so you can show Sean the new place?”

Lyla appears crestfallen at first, turning to give Sean puppydog eyes and beg for more time, but she wipes the expression clean off her face when she sees his own.

“Oh, yeah, totally! You should get all settled in and everything. We’ll see each other again soon, right?”

“O-of course. Sorry for—”

“No worries, man, I totally get it. I’m sure this is all waaay too much social interaction for you,” she laughs, rising from her seat. “Let’s meet up one-on-one next time. Yeah?”

“Yeah, definitely. Sounds cool.”

They first take Karen to the motel she’s staying at for the next few days. Sean knows Daniel tried to get her to stay at their place, assured her time and time again that he’s happy to relinquish his room and sleep on the couch for that tiny sliver of time, but she declined the offer. Said it would be less stressful for everyone (read: Sean) if the boys could each move in without her in their space. Sean waves goodbye to his mother with a promise to see her again at some point before her flight.

Next stop is Lyla’s apartment. It’s in a complex not far from their own place. She happily lives alone, aside from a cat, and she invites Sean to come and meet Mochi later in the week after Karen leaves. He tells her he’s looking forward to it.

And then there were two.

Sean didn’t expect it to be even more awkward when alone with Daniel. But without Lyla there to fill dead air with witty remarks and playful banter, it puts the pressure on Sean to carry half of a whole conversation. The buffer between the brothers is gone, leaving behind something much more personal and intimate, and Sean feels emotionally naked. He tries to sneak glances at Daniel, but it’s hard to be stealthy about it when Daniel is on his blind side. He can probably tell. But if he can, he doesn’t say anything about it.

Sean just… can’t get over how grown he is now. He only watched it happen through rambling letters and printed-out pictures and far too brief visits. A handful of screenshots of Daniel’s life, without Sean in it, as he became this adult sitting next to Sean. He’s still Daniel at his core, but he may as well be an entirely different human being now. He’s this grownup with a career, paying rent, driving his own vehicle. It’s so strange to watch, Sean can’t help but laugh.

Daniel smiles before he even hears the joke. “What’s funny?”

“You’re driving a car.”

“Uh, yeah? Got a license to do it and everything.”

“Last time we were in a car together, you were so damn young.”

Daniel’s smile melts into something more gentle and soft. “Remember when you let me hold the wheel with my powers?”

That sends a jolt of panic through Sean’s heart. They haven’t talked about it in fifteen years. They couldn’t. Every interaction was watched, each letter free game for guards to intercept. The closest they ever got to discussing it was Daniel “suggesting ideas” for the next Superwolf issue. They spoke in code, hiding behind Sean’s comics, and Sean was left attempting to decipher.

To hear the words “my powers” as opposed to “Superwolf’s powers”... Sean truly feels the weight of freedom settle into his gut. He’s really out of there, isn’t he?

“Y-yeah. I do. I remember that.”

Silence falls over them. Sean stares forward, unsure of how to feel.

“Well, here we are,” Daniel says, overcompensating with a tone entirely too chipper, as he pulls up to a house. Their house. Sean’s house.

Sean has a  _ house _ now.

He follows Daniel, whose keys jingle like windchimes, to the front door. There are all sorts of wacky metal art pieces hanging on the outside walls. Sean knows most of them, if not all, must have been crafted by Daniel, but he wonders if any are remnants of Joan’s legacy. He’ll have to ask Daniel about them later.

“Okay, brace yourself. Lobo’s a jumper. We’re still working on that.”

Sean nods, picking up the telltale yowling of a husky behind the door. He stands back and watches as Daniel unlocks and opens it. A big bundle of silver fur bursts forth and immediately leaps into Daniel’s arms, nearly knocking him straight into Sean.

“Down, boy!”

Lobo eventually notices Daniel isn’t alone. As soon as Sean is in his sights, he’s on him like white on rice. Sean doesn’t have all the muscle Daniel has, but he does have quick reflexes, so he spreads his legs and bends his knees to keep balance as Lobo sniffs his face with vigor, a paw on each of his shoulders. He has the prettiest bright blue eyes. Didn’t little Mushroom have eyes like those?

“Hey there, buddy,” Sean grunts out.

“Lobo! Down!”

It takes a few tries, but Lobo finally decides to listen to his master, landing back down on all fours to follow him inside.

“He already loves you,” Daniel calls over his shoulder. “I knew you two would be best friends!”

After taking a deep breath to ready himself, Sean trails in behind them.

Daniel already mailed him some pictures of the house right when he moved in, about a month ago. Explained the layout in neverending detail, using some fancy architectural terms, as Sean tried and failed to keep up. But Daniel was so happy about it, Sean figured it must be a pretty nice place. And it is. It’s roomy and cozy at the same time, and it seems Daniel has a knack for interior design as well as architecture. The place appears like a home in a magazine. So pristine and perfect. Sean feels more out of his element than ever.

Daniel drops Sean’s bag off in what he can assume is his new bedroom, then takes him around the house for a full tour. The living room. The dining room. The kitchen, with a door to the backyard. The bathroom. The laundry room. Daniel’s room. And then, finally, Sean’s room.

“I hope you like it,” Daniel says, hovering by the door as Sean steps inside. “Feel free to rearrange, redecorate, any of that. I tried to put together something that would suit your tastes, but I bet your tastes have changed since you were sixteen, huh?”

The walls are blue. Like his childhood room back in Seattle. He doesn’t know if blue is still his favorite color or not. He isn’t even sure if he has a favorite color nowadays.

“It looks great,  _ enano. _ Thank you. Really.”

Daniel smiles at that. He stands there for a few prolonged moments, just staring at Sean, as if he’s trying to come up with something to talk about as an excuse to stay, but he’s drawing a blank. He eventually looks down at the carpet in defeat.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone for now. I gotta answer some work emails anyway. But I’ll be around if you need me, okay? For anything at all. Don’t hesitate.”

“Okay. Uh… good luck.”

“Thanks.”

He gives one last smile before pulling the door closed behind him, leaving Sean alone for the first time since release.

He takes this moment to get a closer look at his room. A few framed pictures line the walls, including some blown up covers and promotional art of Superwolf. That makes Sean grin. There’s a desk perfect for drawing, with drawers underneath, and a laptop and cell phone resting on top (yes, he tried to stop Daniel, and no, Daniel did not listen). The closet already has some clothes hanging inside. The room isn’t big, so neither is the bed, but it’s as soft as a cloud when he lays down. Heaving a shaky sigh, Sean puts his arm over his eyes, and lets himself sink into despair.

He doesn’t know what he likes to eat. He doesn’t know what to say in a conversation with his favorite person. He doesn’t even know what his favorite fucking color is now.

Who the hell is he anymore?

With all the time he spent fantasizing about the free world, he never stopped to consider how he would go back to being a real person. He doesn’t know how to be Sean Diaz anymore. He only knows how to be his inmate number.

  
  
  
  
  


Sean doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes with a gasp to two men shouting outside his door.

He shoots up in bed, heartbeat pounding in his eardrums, entire body tense with anticipation, gearing up to fight or flee. It takes him some time to orient himself. To remember where he is. And then he realizes the yelling is coming from the television in the living room.

The clock on the bedside table tells him that he slept for nearly three hours.

“Fuck…”

He hauls himself out of bed, noting how his back hurts significantly less than it usually does after sleeping, and stumbles out of the room. Daniel perks up like a puppy when he sees Sean, scrambling for the remote and turning the volume down to a whisper.

“Did the TV wake you up? Sorry, I—”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I, uh. Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s been an exhausting day, I bet. I was gonna let you rest however long you needed.” He combs his fingers through his fringe, pushing it off his forehead, but it falls back into his eyes immediately. “How are you feeling?”

Sean rubs at his heavy, tired eyelids. “Mmh, pretty good. A little groggy still. And sweaty. But that bed is fucking amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it. And you can take a shower, if you want. The towels are in the closet to the right of the bathroom.”

“Ah, I think I’ll take you up on that.”

They were allowed three showers per week. Less, if you were spending time in the Box, and the guards were pissed at you for whatever reason. And they were on a tight schedule. Sean never appreciated showers before he went on the run. Now, he stands under the hot spray, firm water pressure massaging his aching muscles, all the grime washing down the drain alongside his troubles, and he’s in total bliss.

He lets his brain shut off. He can forget about the world, so big and so scary, for half an hour. Maybe forty-five minutes. He isn’t keeping track, because there’s finally no time limit. He could stay under that stream forever, if he wanted to. He thinks he will.

Well. Until the water runs cold. Then he thinks it’s time to get out.

After drying off, he wraps the towel around his waist, then wipes fog off the mirror to take a look at himself. Christ, he’s so goddamn old now. He can barely recognize his reflection. How long has he had those wrinkles around his eyes? Oh well. Time passes. Things change. So it goes.

He changes into the sweatshirt and pajama pants he found in his closet. Puts his eyepatch back on (people have mentioned glass eyes to him, but he isn’t ready to think about hospitals and doctors yet). When he’s all set, he goes back out to the living room.

He expects Daniel to still be there, sitting on the couch watching TV, but he isn’t. Sean can’t immediately see him at the dining table or in the kitchen either. Anxiety rakes its nails across his chest, gradually building from a few nervous butterflies into a horrified swarm. He wants to know exactly where Daniel is. He doesn’t want to be left alone.

It’s… scary. Sean is scared.

Before it can escalate into an attack, he hears Lobo’s distant barking, breaking the tension.

He follows the pup’s call into the kitchen, through the backdoor and out onto the porch, and there Daniel is. He’s on that infamous porch swing, a serene smile playing at his features as he watches Lobo play. When he hears the door squeak open, he turns that smile to Sean, eyes lighting up like a lantern, and it washes the panic off Sean’s body like a hot shower.

“Hey! Come join us,” Daniel beckons, patting the empty spot next to him.

Sean wills his heart to beat at a normal rate.  _ It’s okay,  _ he tells his anxiety,  _ he’s here. He’s right here. I’m not alone. _

He takes his seat, Daniel resting his arm on the back of the swing behind him. Sean hesitates, unsure if it’s okay for him to do, then slowly shifts to rest his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel sighs, calm and content.

Clearly unable to accept two whole minutes without someone’s undivided attention, Lobo runs up to Sean and drops a baseball in his lap.

“Oh? You wanna fetch?”

Lobo bounces from paw to paw, whining impatiently. Sean tosses the ball for him and is relieved when it doesn’t fly over the fence. He’s definitely better at estimating distances than when he first lost the eye, but he knows it’ll never be the same. But he doesn’t really care that much anymore. He’s adapted well. Besides, caring about it would waste too much energy.

They play fetch for a few more minutes, until Lobo seems to get bored, abandoning the ball in favor of a chew toy. Sean snorts.

“He’s adorable.”

“He definitely is. But don’t let his cuteness fool you! That little cub can be a menace when he wants to be.”

Sean smiles into the fabric of Daniel’s shirt. “Sounds like another little cub I know.”

Daniel scoffs, feigning hurt, but he laughs along with Sean. He gently moves his arm from the wood of the swing to wrap around Sean’s shoulders and pull him closer.

“So, what do you think of the place?”

“It’s amazing, Daniel,” Sean says honestly.

“Good. And… how are you feeling? About… everything?”

“Oh. Good. I’m good,” Sean says, a little less honestly.

He can tell Daniel doesn’t believe him—knows he isn’t giving the whole truth of his feelings. But he lets it go for now. Doesn’t push. Sean appreciates that. He doesn’t feel ready to give voice to his emotions quite yet. It’s like they’re too heavy to push past his lips.

“So,” Sean starts, attempting to move the subject of conversation back to Daniel, “do you think you would ever design a house for yourself someday?”

“Hopefully so. That’s the goal, anyway. Design and build the forever home of my dreams. I’ve been saving up for that for years already.”

“Forever home, huh? That’s awesome. Have you started designing it yet?”

“I’ve tried to. But I never got very far. I don’t know what my situation will be, you know? Location, if I’ll have a partner, maybe kids… I just really don’t know where I’ll be when the time comes. So I have some ideas, some styles I like, but I can’t actually start on blueprints yet.”

Sean hums in understanding. He has a hand on Daniel’s knee, thumb lazily tracing back and forth.

There’s a huge part of him that still sees Daniel as his kid brother, so it’s jarring to consider him being a husband. A father. But Sean knows he’ll be great at it. He has no doubt that Daniel inherited their dad’s natural parenting skills. Even if it’s a bit melancholic to think about him growing up so much, Sean can’t wait to see him start a family of his own.

(He ignores the painful way his heart clenches at the thought of no longer being Daniel’s main family.)

“Hm… Are you hungry yet? Should I start dinner?”

Sean takes that as his cue to lift his head. “I could eat. What can I help with?”

Daniel releases Sean from his hold and stands up, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. “Nothing. You just sit there and look pretty.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, day, I’m sure. You can help me any other night you‘d like, but let me spoil you for your first day here. Okay?”

“I… Okay.”

They head back inside, and Sean winds up on one of the tall chairs at the kitchen island to watch Daniel as he works—and tries not to snap at Lobo whenever he gets under his feet, searching for scraps. Conversation between Sean and Daniel is finally starting to really flow. Daniel flutters around from topic to topic, going off on so many tangents that he’ll completely forget about his original talking point. Sean is already used to his endearing patterns of speech by now. It’s a familiar melody. Music to his ears. A piece of comforting normality amongst all this chaos.

They eat their (shockingly delicious) chicken with beans and rice at the island, since Daniel thinks it’s weird to eat at a big dining table when there aren’t guests to fill it up. Lobo alternates between each human to whine and beg. Daniel tells Sean to completely ignore him. Sean tries to sneak him a piece of chicken, but Daniel stops him with a raised brow.

Even without Sean needing comfort, they wordlessly hold hands again.

“When did you get so good at cooking?”

“When I didn’t have Grandma to do it for me anymore,” Daniel laughs. “Had to teach myself to survive.”

Sean’s gaze drifts to the cross on the kitchen wall. He noticed one in the living room as well. He knows Daniel doesn’t go to church—it was one of the only debates he ever won against Claire. Sean wonders she was the culprit behind these crosses. Whether they were a peace offering, a compromise, a way to get her off his back about anything that could make him less than the perfect grandson.

“I can take them down.”

Sean looks back to Daniel. “Huh?”

“The crosses,” he clarifies, tilting his head towards the wall. “If they make you uncomfortable, I can move them to my room.”

“What? No, no, don’t do that! It’s fine. Really. I was just wondering if you, you know… if you’re still Christian.” He looks back down at his plate. “Just curious. Sorry.”

“Oh. You can totally ask me about that, I don’t mind at all. And, well, I guess I still loosely identify as Christian. Keyword being loosely. Me and Him,” he points to the ceiling with his fork, “have a great relationship now. But it still… messes me up pretty bad to go into a church. Even reading the Bible pisses me off. Can’t go a single line without remembering how it was used against me. And other people like me, in some cases. Like  _ us.” _

Sean nods, slowly. Queer men and Christian dogma don’t seem to mix. He heard plenty of horror stories from other guys in his block. He feels lucky to have never grown up in a church.

“You’re still atheist, right?”

Sean shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah. I guess so. Maybe more agnostic than atheist, but yeah, I don't… it’s not for me.”

He doesn’t tell Daniel about the insomniac nights spent in agony, feeling completely alone and utterly hopeless, needing a way out and knowing there was none for many more years, and how the only thing that got him through was the thought that there may be a plan. That there may be a being looking out for him, watching over him as he sobbed into his pillow, loving him despite all his wrongdoings. It’s another one of those emotions too heavy to pass through his lips.

Besides, it doesn’t really matter. In the light of the morning, hauling himself out of bed and to his daily routine, it dissolved into nothing. He never believed for long. For Daniel, it’s faith, and that’s great. But for Sean, it was just a crutch.

“I respect everyone’s religions, though. And I definitely don’t mind the crosses. Keep them up.”

“Okay,” Daniel says with a thankful smile.

When they’re finished eating, he doesn’t even allow Sean to help with dishes. Still insists on him not lifting a finger.

They migrate to the couch. They can’t decide on something to watch, scrolling through titles for far too long, until Daniel finally just throws on a baking competition to fill in the silence.

They sit with the outsides of their thighs pressed together, Daniel’s arm on the back of the couch behind Sean again. Conversation slowly dies down as time passes, and they fall into a comfortable silence. Having a warm body against his feels almost too good for Sean’s touch-starved skin to handle. Part of him wants to retreat, but most of him can’t get enough of it.

As nice as the moment is, Daniel is struggling to keep his eyes open after a few episodes.

“Ah, fuck, I’m too tired. I shouldn’t screw my sleep schedule up anyway.” He hands the remotes to Sean as he stands. “You can watch whatever you want. Or don’t, your call. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

He starts towards the hallway, but he stops and turns back to Sean, who looks up at him and waits.

“Hey, Sean?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for moving in with me. I’m really glad you’re here. Really, really glad.”

It takes a few seconds of stuttering until Sean can get a response out. It’s too sincere, too heartfelt, and he doesn’t remember how to respond to something like that.

“I’m glad too. I’m… so grateful. For everything. I’m… thank you. Thanks.”

Daniel smiles at his feet, then looks back up at Sean with bashful eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It’s simultaneously the hardest words he’s ever spoken, and the easiest. Because they’re true. Painfully true. If Sean doesn’t know anything else about himself, he at least knows that he loves Daniel. More than anyone else in this world. And he knows he always will.

“‘Kay. Goodnight. See you tomorrow.”

Daniel disappears behind the corner before Sean can say anything else in return. He’s left staring blankly at the screen for a while, not taking in anything he’s seeing or hearing. He can’t figure out what emotion he’s experiencing, even whether it’s positive or negative, but he can feel the pressure of it expanding under his ribs.

Eventually, he gathers up the energy to turn off the TV, get up from the couch, and make his way into his room. He crawls under the covers. Takes off his eyepatch and places it on the bedside table. Letting his eyelids fall shut, he attempts to force himself to sleep.

He can only hope that when he wakes up, he’ll magically be a normal person again.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, first chapter complete! Hope you enjoyed ^^ Next we’ll get a look at Daniel’s life, and a peak at his thoughts and feelings.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the fic so far! I know it’s a slow start, but I wanna give you time to sink into this atmosphere before we bring on the incest, you feel?
> 
> You may yell at me on twitter @Juvenile_Gemini as long as you do it nicely


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